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import random
import re
TIPS = [
"🔐 Look for multiple failed login attempts followed by a success.",
"👥 Monitor for the creation of suspicious or unusual accounts.",
"🖋️ Keep an eye out for renamed files or sudden changes to file extensions.",
"🛡️ Always investigate signs of persistence mechanisms like scheduled tasks or services.",
"🔍 Check logs for lateral movement patterns within the network.",
"📂 Look for data exfiltration attempts during off-hours.",
"🕵️‍♂️ Watch for processes running in uncommon directories.",
"🗂️ Review changes to sensitive directories like /etc or C:\\Windows\\System32.",
"⚠️ Be alert to PowerShell scripts with obfuscation or base64 encoding.",
"📥 Investigate unusual inbound or outbound traffic patterns.",
"💻 Track the execution of unknown binaries or scripts.",
"📊 Analyze event logs for sequences that indicate privilege escalation.",
"🌐 Monitor for connections to known malicious IPs or domains.",
"📈 Look for unusual spikes in network activity or CPU usage.",
"🔑 Check for default or weak passwords in critical accounts.",
"🔗 Watch for newly created symbolic links or junction points.",
"🕒 Investigate task scheduler events outside of normal working hours.",
"📦 Look for recently installed software that wasnt approved.",
"🔓 Monitor for attempts to disable antivirus or EDR tools.",
"📜 Analyze browser history or bookmarks for connections to malicious sites.",
"📂 Look for files with double extensions like `.exe.pdf`.",
"🛠️ Check system startup items for unauthorized entries.",
"📤 Investigate signs of data compression and outbound transfer.",
"👀 Watch for registry modifications in persistence-related keys.",
"🔍 Scan for unsigned drivers or DLLs in system directories.",
"📡 Monitor DNS queries to unusual or high-risk domains.",
"💽 Look for rogue virtual machines or snapshots.",
"🖥️ Inspect remote desktop protocol (RDP) logs for unauthorized connections.",
"🛡️ Review firewall logs for changes in access rules or port scans.",
"📧 Analyze email headers for signs of phishing or spoofing.",
"📌 Monitor USB activity for unauthorized devices.",
"⚡ Look for processes with high privilege levels started by unprivileged users.",
"🔗 Watch for changes to trusted system binaries.",
"🛠️ Investigate event IDs related to new service installations.",
"📂 Check shadow copies for deleted or modified files.",
"🔍 Monitor account logins from unusual geographic locations.",
"📂 Investigate tampering with backup files or schedules.",
"🖥️ Look for signs of remote code execution (RCE) attempts.",
"🌐 Review web server logs for suspicious parameter tampering.",
"🚦 Monitor network flows for unusual traffic patterns or unexpected ports.",
"📡 Be suspicious of repeated DNS queries to non-existent domains.",
"🔒 Check for unauthorized changes to file or folder permissions.",
"📤 Look for encrypted or compressed outbound traffic to unknown hosts.",
"⚙️ Monitor changes in system startup configurations.",
"🔍 Search for PowerShell scripts that include encoded commands.",
"📁 Investigate files with zero-byte size in critical directories.",
"🕒 Check for processes running at scheduled intervals outside business hours.",
"📈 Review performance metrics for sudden resource spikes.",
"🚀 Look for signs of process injection into legitimate applications.",
"💻 Monitor for unauthorized changes to group memberships.",
"🔗 Watch for symbolic links pointing to unexpected locations.",
"🔍 Examine email attachments for hidden macros or scripts.",
"⚠️ Scan for privilege escalation techniques in event logs.",
"📦 Look for unexpected or unsigned updates to software packages.",
"💾 Review logs for signs of removable media usage.",
"🖥️ Investigate unusual usage of command-line utilities like `netstat` or `ipconfig`.",
"📤 Track unusual outbound connections to high-risk countries.",
"🔍 Look for registry keys with suspicious auto-start entries.",
"🔧 Investigate changes to WMI subscriptions or filters.",
"📊 Analyze account lockout patterns for brute-force attempts.",
"🛡️ Monitor processes using suspicious parent-child relationships.",
"📥 Investigate large file downloads from unusual IPs.",
"⚡ Check for unauthorized applications installed via package managers.",
"🔗 Look for SMB connections between unexpected hosts.",
"🔍 Search for processes masquerading as system utilities.",
"🖥️ Review logs for attempts to clear or disable event logging.",
"📂 Look for hidden files in critical directories.",
"🚦 Monitor outbound traffic for data transfers at odd hours.",
"🔓 Check for unauthorized access to sensitive configuration files.",
"🔧 Scan for unrecognized services or drivers in startup logs.",
"🌐 Review web application logs for unauthorized access attempts.",
"📜 Look for tampered audit logs or log file deletions.",
"💡 Investigate systems with unusual uptime patterns.",
"🕵️‍♂️ Monitor unusual changes to group policies.",
"📂 Investigate abnormal growth in specific file directories.",
"🛠️ Look for unusual process execution chains in forensic tools.",
"📋 Check for clipboard monitoring or keylogging behavior.",
"🚨 Monitor IDS/IPS alerts for common lateral movement patterns.",
"🌍 Correlate login activity with geolocation inconsistencies.",
"🔑 Investigate processes accessing security-critical files.",
"📤 Look for repeated failed data upload attempts to unknown servers.",
"🔍 Check for malicious scheduled tasks created recently.",
"🛡️ Watch for unusual changes to user password policies.",
"📈 Investigate sudden changes in user account activity levels.",
"🖥️ Review temporary files for evidence of script execution.",
"📦 Monitor endpoints for unauthorized package or library downloads.",
"📂 Look for anomalies in recently accessed files.",
"⚙️ Investigate mismatches in user-agent strings in web traffic.",
"🔍 Look for attackers leaving test artifacts like `1.txt` or `test.ps1`.",
"📜 Track file hashes for unauthorized changes to key binaries.",
"🚦 Review network traffic for abnormal TTL values."
]
# Cybersecurity jokes
JOKES = [
"🤖 Why did the hacker cross the road? To get to the other .NET.",
"❄️ Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.",
"🪥 How do hackers freshen their breath? With CyberTic Tac!",
"❤️‍🩹 Why don't hackers ever get into relationships? They're afraid of commitments.",
"🐾 What do you call a hacker who loves animals? A purr-sistence threat!",
"💸 Why did the server go broke? It lost all its cache.",
"😂 How do you make a malware laugh? Give it a worm joke!",
"📉 Why did the sysadmin go broke? Too many root expenses.",
"🥣 Whats a hackers favorite kind of cereal? Spy-ders!",
"🛡️ Why did the password break up with the hacker? It was too weak.",
"🔒 Why are cybersecurity experts bad at telling jokes? They always encrypt the punchline.",
"🎵 Whats a hackers favorite music genre? Phishing!",
"👓 Why do hackers wear glasses? Because they lost their focus.",
"📶 Why did the WiFi break up with the laptop? It found a stronger connection.",
"😌 Why was the antivirus program so relaxed? It knew how to quarantine stress.",
"🍁 Whats a hackers favorite season? Phall.",
"🌑 Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.",
"🚩 Whats a hackers favorite game? Capture the flag!",
"☠️ Why dont hackers get along with pirates? Too many patches.",
"🎉 How do you throw a cybersecurity party? Invite everyone to the LAN!",
"🔥 Why was the firewall so happy? It finally blocked its ex.",
"🔑 Why was the keyboard locked out of the server room? Too many CAPS.",
"🍺 Whats a hackers least favorite drink? Root beer.",
"⚾ Why was the hacker bad at baseball? It couldnt handle the curve (encryption).",
"☕ How do cybersecurity experts like their coffee? Encrypted.",
"😭 Why did the antivirus cry? It couldnt handle the worm.",
"🤫 Why dont hackers tell secrets? Theyre worried about key-loggers.",
"🏕️ Why dont hackers go camping? Too many phishing attacks.",
"💃 Whats a hackers favorite dance? The worm.",
"🐴 Why was the Trojan horse so good at infiltration? It always had the write access.",
"🧗 Whats the cybersecurity experts favorite sport? Fire-wall climbing.",
"🕵️‍♂️ Why was the hacker great at hide-and-seek? It always hid in the registry.",
"🛜 What did the router say to the server? Youve got the bandwidth for this!",
"🍽️ Whats a phishing scammers favorite dish? Spam.",
"🌞 Why dont hackers get sunburned? They stay in the shadows.",
"🧑‍🔬 What do you call a group of math and science geeks at a party? Social engineers.",
"🌐 Whats the best way to catch a runaway robot? Use a botnet.",
"🐛 Why did the programmer leave the camping trip early? There were too many bugs."
]
ANSI_ESCAPE_REGEX = re.compile(r'\x1B(?:[@-Z\\-_]|\[[0-?]*[ -/]*[@-~])')
def get_random_tip_or_joke(clean=False):
# Pick a random tip or joke and assign a color
item = random.choice(TIPS + JOKES)
formatted_item = f"{item}"
if clean:
# Remove ANSI escape codes if clean output is requested
return ANSI_ESCAPE_REGEX.sub('', formatted_item)
return formatted_item